Guys...

When a guy is quiet and is alone, he's is thinking how good you're.
My bf is always quiet but i don't think that he's thinking bout how good am i.

When a guy is lying on his bed, he is thinking deeply why he loves you.
I can't comment much on this, so bah!

When a guy looks at you in your eyes, he wants to tell you how much he loves you and how important you're.
Weird thing, my bf don't look me in my eyes. Means he doesn't love me and i'm not important to him?

When a guy answers "I'm Fine" after a while, he is not and feels hurts.
He never says "I'm fine" to me because if i were to raise an issue about anything, not like he will stay quiet and say that he's alright. He rebels, so what does that mean?

When a guy keep asking you the same question, he is wondering why you are lying.
What kinda questions? Well, no doubt if he doesn't trust me as much as when we first started off.

When a guy hugs you while sleeping, he is wishing that you belongs to him forever.
Not like i want to sleep with him, let alone giving him a chance to hug me. For now.

When a guy calls you everyday, he miss you and wants your attention.
He doesn't call me everyday, means he don't miss me. Yay! And after all, he has got a whole bunch of friends, he doesn't need my attention.

When a guy wants to see you everyday, he cares for you and want to know how are you today.
More like he needs to see his friends more than me.

When a guy sms's u everyday, he wants you to know he is fine.
He sms-es me because it was a promise he made. The same mundane words repeated everyday. He not sick of it, i always no feel already larh. It is more like a responsibility, not a will.

When a guy says I love you, he really means it.
I've got quite a few guys saying that three magical words, but how many really mean it? It doesn't even take them a month to go after another girl.

When a guy says that he can't live without you, he has made up his mind that you are his future wife.
The guy who told me that he can't live without me is living happily ever after with another girl.

When a guy says "I Miss You", he wants to see you immediately.
Total rubbish! So if he doesn't say anything means he doesn't want to see me? Brilliant!

I bet this stupid crap must have been written by a guy. What utter nonsense!

mmm.. chocolate

I don't know if you know this but.....

Chocolate is a Vegetable: Chocolate is derived from cocoa beans. Bean = vegetable.

Sugar is derived from either sugar CANE or sugar BEETS. Both are plants, which places them in the vegetable category. Thus, chocolate is a vegetable.

To go one step further, chocolate candy bars also contain milk, which is dairy. So candy bars are a health food.

Chocolate-covered raisins, cherries, orange slices and strawberries all count as fruit, so eat as many as you want.

If you've got melted chocolate all over your hands, you're eating it too slowly.
The problem: How to get 2 pounds of chocolate home from the store in a hot car. The solution: Eat it in the parking lot.

Diet tip: Eat a chocolate bar before each meal. It'll take the edge off your appetite, and you'll eat less.

If I eat equal amounts of dark chocolate and white chocolate, is that a balanced diet? Don't they actually counteract each other?

Chocolate has many preservatives. Preservatives make you look younger.

Put eating chocolate at the top of your list of things to do today. That way, at least you'll get one thing done.

A nice box of chocolates can provide your total daily intake of calories in one place. Now, isn't that handy?

If not for chocolate, there would be no need for control top pantyhose. An entire garment industry would be devastated. You can't let that happen, can you?

REMEMBER: Stressed spelled backward is desserts.

Send this to four women and you will lose two pounds. Send this to all the women you know (or ever knew), and you will lose 10 pounds.

If you delete this message, you will gain 10 pounds immediately. That's why I had to pass this on. I didn't want to risk it.

Count down of the Top Twenty Oxymorons

ox·y·mo·ra (-môr, -mr) or ox·y·mo·rons
A rhetorical figure in which incongruous or contradictory terms are combined

20. Government Organization

19. Alone together

18. Personal Computer

17. Silent Scream

16. Living Dead

15. Same difference

14. Taped live

13. Plastic Glasses

12. Tight Slacks

11. Peace Force

10. Pretty Ugly

9. Head Butt

8. Working Vacation

7. Tax Return

6. Virtual Reality

5. Dodge Ram

4. Work Party

3. Jumbo Shrimp

2. Healthy Tan

1. Microsoft Works

Wife 1.0

I had to share this.
Happy Sunday to All!

Re: Wife 1.0

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 and noticed that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a lot of space and valuable resources. No mention of this phenomenon was included in the product brochure.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installs itself into all other programs and launches during system initialization where it monitors all other system activity. Applications such as Poker- night 10.3 and Beer-bash 2.5 no longer run, crashing the system whenever selected. I cannot seem to purge Wife 1.0 from my system.

I am thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 but uninstall does not work on this program.

Can you help me?


*****************************************************************


Dear Sir-

This is a very common problem men complain about but is mostly due to a primary misconception. Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 with the idea that Wife 1.0 is merely a "UTILITIES & ENTERTAINMENT" program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and designed by its creator to run everything.

It is impossible to uninstall, delete, or purge the program from the system once installed. You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is not designed to do this. Some have tried to install Girlfriend 2.0 or Wife 2.0 but end up with more problems than original system. Look in your manual under Warnings - Alimony / Child Support. I recommend you keep Wife 1.0 and just deal with the situation.

Having Wife 1.0 installed myself, I might also suggest you read the entire section regarding General Protection Faults (GPFs). You must assume all responsibility for faults and problems that might occur.

The best course of action will be to push apologize button then reset button as soon as lockup occurs. System will run smooth as long as you take the blame for all GPFs. Wife 1.0 is a great program but is very high maintenance.

10 Reasons for Women to Flatter Themselves

10. God was worried that Adam would frequently become lost in the garden because he would not ask for directions.

9. God knew that one day Adam would require someone to locate and hand him the remote.

8. God knew Adam would never go out and buy himself a new fig leaf when his wore out and would therefore need Eve to buy one for him.

7. God knew Adam would never be able to make a doctor's, dentist, or haircut appointment for himself.

6. God knew Adam would never remember which night to put the garbage on the curb.

5. God knew if the world was to be populated, men would never be able to handle the pain and discomfort of childbearing.

4. As the Keeper of the Garden, Adam would never remember where he left his tools.

3. Apparently, Adam needed someone to blame his troubles on when God caught him hiding in the garden.

2. As the Bible says, it is not good for man to be alone.

And the Number 1 reason why God created Eve...

1. When God finished the creation of Adam, He stepped back, scratched his head, and said, "I can do better than that!"

I found this VALID

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

...one old love

she can imagine

going back to...

and one who reminds

her how far she has come...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

...enough money within her

control to move out and

rent a place of her own

even if she never wants

to or needs to...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

.. something perfect to wear if

the employer or date of her dreams

wants to see her in an hour...

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

.. a youth she's content

to leave behind...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

...a past juicy enough that

she's looking forward to

retelling it in her old age....


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

...a set of screwdrivers, a

cordless drill, and a black

lace bra...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

..one friend who always makes

her laugh ... and one who lets

her cry...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

...a good piece of furniture

not previously owned by anyone

else in her family...


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

...eight matching plates, wine

glasses with stems, and a recipe

for a meal that will make her

guests feel honored.


A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

...a feeling of control over

her destiny

If You Are A Woman, Thank God for That!

The 'misunderestimated' president?

All politicians are prone to make slips of the tongue in the heat of the moment – and President George W Bush has made more than most. The word "Bushism" has been coined to label his occasional verbal lapses during eight years in office, which come to an end on 20th January. Here are some of his most memorable pronouncements.

ON HIMSELF

- "They misunderestimated me."

Bentonville, Arkansas, 6 November, 2000

- "I know what I believe. I will continue to articulate what I believe and what I believe -- I believe what I believe is right."

Rome, 22 July, 2001

- "There's an old saying in Tennessee -- I know it's in Texas, probably in Tennessee -- that says, fool me once, shame on... shame on you. Fool me -- you can't get fooled again."

Nashville, Tennessee, 17 September, 2002

- "I want to thank my friend, Senator Bill Frist, for joining us today. He married a Texas girl, I want you to know. Karyn is with us. A West Texas girl, just like me."

Nashville, Tennessee, 27 May, 2004



FOREIGN AFFAIRS

- "The war on terror involves Saddam Hussein because of the nature of Saddam Hussein, the history of Saddam Hussein, and his willingness to terrorise himself."

Grand Rapids, Michigan, 29 January, 2003

- "The ambassador and the general were briefing me on the -- the vast majority of Iraqis want to live in a peaceful, free world. And we will find these people and we will bring them to justice."

Washington DC, 27 October, 2003

- "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we."

Washington DC, 5 August, 2004

- "I think war is a dangerous place."

Washington DC, 7 May, 2003

- "You know, one of the hardest parts of my job is to connect Iraq to the war on terror."

CBS News, Washington DC, 6 September, 2006



ECONOMICS

- "I understand small business growth. I was one."

New York Daily News, 19 February, 2000

- "It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it."

Reuters, 5 May, 2000



HEALTHCARE

- "Too many good docs are getting out of the business. Too many OB/GYN's aren't able to practice their love with women all across the country."

Poplar Bluff, Missouri, 6 September, 2004



OUT OF LEFT FIELD

- "I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully."

Saginaw, Michigan, 29 September, 2000

- "Rarely is the question asked: Is our children learning?"

Florence, South Carolina, 11 January, 2000

- "Families is where our nation finds hope, where wings take dream."

LaCrosse, Wisconsin, 18 October, 2000

- "That's George Washington, the first president, of course. The interesting thing about him is that I read three - three or four books about him last year. Isn't that interesting?"

Speaking to reporter Kai Diekmann, Washington DC, 5 May, 2006



ON GOVERNING

- "I have a different vision of leadership. A leadership is someone who brings people together."

Bartlett, Tennessee, 18 August, 2000

- "I'm the decider, and I decide what is best."

Washington DC, 18 April, 2006

- "And truth of the matter is, a lot of reports in Washington are never read by anybody. To show you how important this one is, I read it, and [Tony Blair] read it."

On the publication of the Baker-Hamilton Report, Washington DC, 7 December, 2006

- "All I can tell you is when the governor calls, I answer his phone."

San Diego, California, 25 October, 2007

- "I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office."

Washington DC, 12 May, 2008

--Courtesy BBC